I love pirates because they have no concept on albeism. oh you have no leg? here have a peg leg. no hand?? well guess we gotta put a hook on that, give those sons of bitches a surprise. Blind in one eye, put an eyepatch on no one fucking cares, youre deaf??? go man the canons you glorious bastard.They dont care if youre disabled bcus as long as you can fuck shit up they literally dont fucking care.
MICHAEL CINCO Ad Campaign 2014
The satanic leaf tailed gecko with flying fox wings.
Tell me that is not a baby dragon I dare you
Bilbo in The Desolation Of Smaug
„He’s certainly different to the one you meet in Bag End. He’s less scared of his own shadow. By necessity he has to take the bull by the horns.”
he wouldn’t dare because it wouldn’t be a joke.
this is the 2nd time i’m reblogging this today because i laughed just as hard as i did the 1st time i saw it
there was a big explosion sound outside and i pulled aside my curtain to see what it was but as i did so, so did the woman across the street and we both sort of waved at each other and it was nice even though something may have exploded
ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm
i know there are some writers who follow me
I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.
So writers, take note.
jesus h. christ
I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.
Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.
Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.
So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.
This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.
Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.
ive learned a lot today omg
i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this
why am i reblogging this
As a writer, I genuinely thank you. Thank God for tumblr. Where the hell else am I going to learn this sort of stuff? Not school or my parents, that’s for damn sure. *sighs*
hermetically sealed shame basket
this post is gold
this is really good because you really don’t get how much 10 inches is if you have the meter-system. I’ve just always asumed that 10 inches is like 15 cm
"Man humans are lame why don’t we have like wings/horns/etc"
Humans can’t even handle having different skin colors how well do you really think that would go
#basically the plot of x-men
A mouth-watering fuck-ton of hand references.
[From various sources]
Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”
Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.
90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums
Are we not going to mention Jesus?
Oh my god.